The above quote came from a website a Facebook friend had posted. I read this and thought it was appropriate for how last week was going for me. I want to apologize for the long period between postings. The time here is starting to wear on me...I am wanting to be home with my family. I know we have a long journey ahead...as Brother Dubroc told me last week, this is now a marathon...how true that statement is. I remember my Mom always saying my Grandma never wanted to be in the hospital at all and I couldn't understand why. I do now...it is a strong force of absolutely wanting to be home with every fiber of your being. Last week, I wanted to pack my little man up and get back to EC but this week is better. I feel more at peace with us staying here. I have finally given up that control issue and now I just roll with the flow.
Let me update you on what's been going on with Cory...
Overall, we have seen small changes in his appearance. His color is getting better and the swelling is gone except for his head. The area where the surgery was performed is still badly swollen. At the end of last week, a cat scan was done to check for any type of fluid blockages or water on his brain. Well, we passed that test...no blockage or water on the brain. Cory has a hard time keeping his head turned to the left...with the amount of swelling on the right side and no muscle tone/strength in his neck, his head always turns to the right. I feel, this is why the swelling is not going down. The nurses are now making sure he is either laying on his left side or we have his head turned to the left. Dr. Whitehead, the neurosurgeon who preformed the surgery, checked on him and said everything looked good and hopefully we could put the bone flap back in soon.
He is moving a great deal on the left side. He moves his hand, arm and leg. If the nurses put his teddy bear, Teddy, on that side and he doesn't like it, he will pick it up and move it to where he wants it. A definite sign he is still in control! He will still give a look of irritation if I tickle his feet or if I am talking about something he is embarrassed about. He will pull the sheet up to his chest if someone is in the room and he doesn't want them to see him without a shirt. He is starting to have some movement with his right leg. He will move it around and he is starting to shift his body around. Still no movement with his right arm but I know that will come soon. I don't know how much therapy is being done with his arm since he has the PIC line there but I will get with the ladies from therapy to find out what is being done.
As of today, we have been fever free for 48 hours. He was taken to have a cat scan earlier evening to check for any type of bacterial or fungal infections that aren't showing up through the numerous cultures being preformed in the lab. We will receive those results some time on Tuesday. If it comes back negative, we can start to cut back on the antibotics and anti-fungal medications. His white cell count was at 1000 on Saturday and slowly climbing. He has also been off his breathing machine since Saturday. He still has his breathing tube but he is breathing on his own. Yea!!
We have two very important tests tomorrow, a bone marrow test and a lumbar puncture. Cory will be taken down to surgery and will have a sample of his bone marrow taken from his hip. It will be checked to see how it is responding to the chemo. While there, they will be taking a sample of the spinal fluid to see if there are cancer cells present. I don't know the time of these procedures so it will be a very long hard day, hoping and praying for a positive outcome of these tests. I have faith everything will turn out okay but I am still scared to pieces. We will get those results on Wednesday.
With all these improvements, I am so very scared. I have to stop myself from celebrating and thinking we are out of the woods. We are still battling cancer...cancer. A disease that comes with no warning...that can kill. We were approached last week with the talk of what ifs...I told the doctor that failure and giving up is not an option. My faith in God, my faith as a mother and my belief in my son tells me in the spring, we will be leaving this hospital and going home. Anything else is not acceptable. We will continue to fight and we will win. Cory has the determination of the Morton's and the Sheryl's and the Matzke's and the Labay's...he will make it through this....
More signs of God's presence....
I have to share a message God sent to me this past Friday morning. I had gone to our motel room to get an hour of good sleep (Cory's term), shower and I returned to the hospital. I was in the waiting room and wanted to get on the computer. I was in a chair that was not next to a plug and saw an open chair that was. I asked the lady on one side if she was holding it and she said no. I asked the lady on the other side if she was holding it and she said no. I moved to the chair and started pulling out my laptop. The lady on my right asked how things were going and I told her our story. She told me not to lose my faith and miracles do happen...she was an example. She told me she had been adopted and her birth mother had done drugs while pregnant and she only had one large mass for her brain. Normally, a brain consists of two hemisphere and two lobes; her brain was not that way. She also told me that she had been in a car accident when she was younger and she was left in a coma. The doctors had told her adopted mom there was no hope and since she signed a donor card, the team of doctors were ready to harvest her organs. Her mother asked to see the doctor outside the room. When they walked outside, her mother pinned the doctor against the wall and told him never talk like that in front of her daughter and to send the team away, her daughter would recover. The mother had to get a court injunction to keep her alive and asked the judge for 30 days. It took two weeks for the judge to grant it and two weeks later, her daughter woke up. It took a very long time to recover but she did. While in the coma, this lady said she heard her nurse talk to her and sing. One day when the pain was at its worst, she asked God to take her away. She said she heard God's voice and He told her there were three things she needed to know before He did. She said the third thing she couldn't remember and she always wondered what it was but recently figured it out. She then opened her phone and showed me a picture of her daughter. She said she was told she would never be able to have children but that was her daughter and she was six months old. She felt that was her destiny. Her husband came out and she packed up her stuff to go. As she got up, I thanked her for sharing her story with me. She winked, smiled and said that's why you sat by me...
As you know from an earlier post, I have been praying to St. Therese. She sent me a message this Saturday morning...
Cheyenne came up Friday evening and spent the night with me. We had gone back to the motel to shower and change. While we were there, I was unpacking some stuff Chey brought up. As I was walking by our beds, I smelled roses. I froze in my tracks...I asked Cheyenne if she opened anything or sprayed anything and she said no. I looked around to see if any type of powder had opened in one of Mom's bags...nothing. The rose smell was only in one spot in the middle of the room...a place I had walked through several times that morning. Cheyenne asked me what the question was for and I told her I smelled roses just as strong as if I were in a rose garden...I only smelled it that one time in the room. I asked Mom that night if she had anything in her bag that smelled of roses and she said no. I said a mental thank you prayer to St. Therese and God for our blessings and I continue to pray....
I am closing my entry tonight...it is almost 2:00am and I need to get some sleep for the day ahead. Thank you once again for the thoughts and prayers you are saying for Cory and our family...I know in my heart it is all of your prayers that are helping Cory make it through this rough time and helping him recover. God Bless You All!!